Saturday, November 14, 2015


Just a random post about life today.  I am working on cleaning and organizing the home office, which is WAY over due!  We moved into this house a little over a year ago, and we painted this room a warm latte color That bright yellow the former owner had HAD to go!  It looked like Big Bird was in this room.  We went shopping and got new desks and my husband set up the computers . . . yes, we each have our own desks and our own computers.  I found some nice curtains for the room and I thought "we are going to have a nice office put together in no time!"

Well, that is where everything came to a screeching halt.

Some of it was due to the fact that I ended up having a hysterectomy in the spring of 2015 to remove the Essure birth control that I had implanted in 2008.  Some of that was because I had taken on more at my job, and I was trying to prove myself to leadership that I should be someone that moves up in the team.  I wanted to help find solutions, instead of just accepting that this is the way things were.

Then when time became available to work on things around the house, I was kind of "waiting" for the rest of my family to want to be a part of this process.  I mean really, who wants to organize a house by themselves?  And, if I am the only one that does it then no one else is invested in the project, and I will spend a TON of time and energy organizing everything just to have everyone else mess it up again.  (Wow . . . just realized THIS statement fits for work and another situation that has been bugging me too)  Seems like I get asked to organize/run things, but then later told I am being bossy . . . well, no one else even wanted to do the task I am doing!

Okay . . . back to why I started this whole post

So I am in the office organizing and I have the tunes cranked up on the computer and Shania Twain - Black Eyes comes on.  I love this song, so I turn it up even louder.  As I am rocking out to this song I am going through old paperwork from projects and business ideas that did not work out, old resumes were in this pile, and the words to the song started to take on another meaning to me . . . instead of an abusive relationship, think about that whole song in the form of anything in your life that might be called a failure . . . a job, project, presentation, anything really.  We are told to dream big and take changes, but then sometimes when you do it does not work out and it is much like a bad relationship that you just want to get out of.  Sometimes we beat ourselves up . . . sometimes we feel like we were others "threw punches" at us or knocked us down to our knees.  If we stay there and do nothing, we are allowing it to happen.  If we stand up to the obstacles and roadblocks we are saying "I won't live where things are so out of whack.  I'd rather die standing than live on my knees."

So I took things to the "next level" in the office.  I took down the old computer that has been sitting on MY DESK for a year now.  This is the computer that my husband has been saying that he needed to get some stuff off of before we can get rid of it.  Okay, well TODAY it comes off of MY DESK!  I put paperwork of his or my daughter's that has "landed" on my desk at their spots where we eat dinner.

This whole time the thoughts about how I knew my husband would come home and be pissed that there was stuff on his desk now, and the computer was in the storage area, but you know what . . . I HAVE LEADERSHIP SKILLS!  I AM TAKING CHARGE!

This all was going around in my head and I just HAD to write it down and get it out.

Well, guess what happened?  My husband came home, observed all of this and FINALLY took care of another task I have been asking to have done for a year now, which was actually something we talked about before I started in on the office, and was the next task on my "to do list".  It was going to be one of those "you have not done it, so I will, but I know you won't like the way I am doing it, so then you will come in and do it yourself . . . which is all I wanted in the first place"

So . . . sometimes you do have get a little "bossy" for people to know you really mean what you are saying.

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